To Make You Feel My Love
by stella brillare
Summary: "I know it's eating at your insides, you feel so helpless. But, sweetheart, you've got to be that guy that I know you are." when the person you care about most in the world forgets about everything you have together, you do anything in your power to make sure that they'll remember you.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** To Make You Feel My Love.  
**Characters/Pairings:** Gale Hawthorne, Madge Undersee/Gadge, Everlark mentions.  
**Rating**: T, for angsty violence.  
**Summary:** "No there's nothing that I wouldn't do, to make you feel my love." What would you do if you went to work and learned that the father of your children didn't know anything about you?  
**Notes: **Hello children of the revolution. I've been on a serious Gadge kick lately and I felt the need to write because for the last 18 days I have written literally nothing (I was in a post-NaNoWriMo thing, oops) and this plot bunny kept swimming around in my brain. I currently have three chapters written, and I'm not out of ideas yet so that's a good sign that this will be an awesome story that won't die down after a while. Anyway, I'm going to stop talking now and let ya'll read my creation. PS... When I see Madge I see Dianna Agron (:

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The buzzing in my ears causes me to wake from the bliss of a sleep. My hands find their way pressing against my forehead as I lay for a minute, too afraid to shut off the cause off the annoyance that woke me, because I know that I'd just go back to sleep.

6:30 in the morning is far too early for a person to be awake and perky, so whoever it is that has just ran past my window screaming Christmas songs in the middle of September is about to get a piece of my mind. If I can just find the will to get up, put on pants, and go outside before they're gone.

I lick my bottom lip, groaning as I toss my legs over the side of the bed, my hand shutting the alarm of as I stand up.

"You, wake up." I nudge my sleeping husband after I'd gotten my robe on and walked to his side of the bed. "Come on, sweetheart, up. You were late yesterday and I don't think you want a repeat of that."

I can't help the smile that takes over my face as I hear him mumble something in his pillow. _What was that? Something about me always being right? _

As he heads into our joint bathroom for a quick shower I pull some clothes out of the closet without paying much attention to what they were. At that moment I was far too tired to look at what I was wearing and was super grateful that most clothes of mine match.

I walk into the steam-filled bathroom and roll my eyes at the fact that he needs the hottest water possible for his showers. I look myself over before simply brushing through my hair and tucking my white blouse into the black full-length skirt that sits just above my belly button.

Much like every morning, as Gale gets himself ready for the day I begin to prepare breakfast. This morning it's nothing extravagant, a simple dish of toast and a cup of coffee for each of us. We aren't broke, barely struggling to survive, like Gale was back in twelve, but we aren't the richest in the district like I was back home. We manage just fine, though. Gale has a wonderful job, has had it for the past six years we've been here in two, and I've gotten a job teaching the half-day students at the local school.

We make small talk over our toast and coffee, and as 7:15 rolls around, Gale collects his things and leans over to give me a gentle kiss on the lips, his callused hands placed gingerly on the small bump on my stomach. He mutters the words "Love you," and I'm not sure if he was talking to me, our baby, or both of us. But I simply smile in return before gently shoving him towards the door, and sternly saying "Go."

I still have about 25 minutes until I have to leave, so I go back into the bathroom, applying a simple base of makeup and doing more with my hair then letting it lay limp over my shoulders.

The day goes on as normal, I arrive at the school and begin setting the classroom up for the day (most days at the end I just want to go home and rest, even though I'm only 4 months pregnant it does get exhausting working around children and being on my feet 97% of the day, so I just leave the lessons and board set up as they are.)

I wasn't expecting what happened just a few minutes before I was supposed to release for the day. There's a knock at my classroom door.

"Brintlee, will you answer that, please?" I ask the small brunette who is working vigorously at her radicals while I assist a boy near the front of the room with his own assignment. I'm crouched by his desk, pointing to where he had left off the plus/minus sign when I hear my name.

"Mrs. Hawthorne, a word." I knew that voice. That was the voice of own of Gale's fellow trainers. The confusion rushes over me as I stand up, making sure that my student understood what they needed to do and that if I wasn't back by the time it was time to begin to put their things away they would do so at Brintlee's instruction.

We stand in the hallway and I can immediately tell that something is wrong. The way Jenkins face is sullen, and the deep breath that he takes before he speaks makes the nerves in my body seem to peak an extreme. I haven't felt this nervous, this worried, since we were waiting to find out if I was pregnant or not.

"Madge..." He begins, and I can tell the smile that he's now sporting is forced. "How have you been?" I shake my head.

"Jenkins, I don't have time for small talk, I have a class full of students who can only sit and work unsupervised for so long. I wouldn't be surprised if they'd already stopped working. Even though I told them to work until the normal time. Can you just tell me why you're here?"

"Madge, there was an accident with one of the new recruits. He didn't sit well with the fact that he had to do some training exercise.. Went after a few of us."

I take a breath in, biting hard down on my bottom lip. The way he was talking doesn't seem promising, but I don't let my emotions show.

"Okay, but recruits get irritated and lash out at you guys all the time, Gale tells me all about it. He finds it comical a lot of the time, because they manage to give you a scratch, maybe a bruise if they're lucky. I don't understand why you had to come interrupt my lesson if.."

I'm cut off by his concerned tone. "Madge, this wasn't a normal circumstance. This guy is lethal, or pretty well close to it. Two of our guys ended up going to see the doctor, one of them was unconscious."

My eyes go wide, but he doesn't give me room to protest.

"It was Gale."


	2. Chapter 2

When someone gets some sort of news that makes them rethink everything that they had planned for their future they often tell me that their heart stopped. As if there was no reason for them to try at that moment, because what they had thought they new was no more.

That wasn't the case for me. When he said _it was Gale, _Gale was hurt, he was unconscious from some lethal trainee and he wouldn't be coming home with me that night. My heart seemed to shatter like a window when a rock is thrown at it. I couldn't breathe, my jaw was dropped and I couldn't even find the words to say. What was there to say when your husband, the only person that you love more than anything, was taken to the hospital because he was _attacked _at his job?

I wasn't sure how long we were standing there, how long I just stared into the distance, when Jenkins finally took some initiative and knocked me into my senses, telling me about how I needed to see Gale, how he'd want me there when he woke up.

So, here I sit. Chewing nervously on my bottom lip, my hand resting on my small baby bump as I try to get comfort in the chair at his bedside. He looked so peaceful in his sleep. I couldn't see a scratch on his body, he looked _fine _except for the cooling pad on his pillow and the monitor attached to him. But, I was still worried because it's been hours since he'd been brought in. It's dark out, now, and he still hasn't woken. And the worst part of all of it is the fact that they didn't give him any sort of sleep aid. None of the medication they'd given him had any sort of ingredient that would make him sleep longer than normal.

A nurse comes in sometime later, probably close to an hour, and she suggests that I head home and try to get some rest. A tired wife would surely be cranky, add on the pregnancy hormones and I'd be a menace to the hospital staff, surely. I want to decline and convince her that I need to be here for Gale, but it looks as if he won't wake any time soon. And as much as it is going to suck to part from him, I know that I'm not allowed to sleep here unless I'm a patient.

It's hard to find myself comfortable in my bed. It's just me laying there. Sure, there have been nights when Gale wasn't home due to having to spend time out of the district, his job does require travelling, after all. But this was different. My mind drifts back to the time before we found ourselves in Two. The last time I found myself worrying for his safety as I laid alone.

It was right after the bombings in Twelve.

As soon as I was sure it was safe I decide to venture out of my hiding spot. All around me was charred rubble. There was no sight of another living human within the district. Could I be the only one? Daddy went out to try and send warnings to the rest of the district. I never saw him again. Quinn was trying to get Mamma downstairs when I felt the first impact. I haven't seen them since, either.

Most families weren't as fortunate as mine. I'm sure I was the only one who had the safe haven of the underground in my home.

Not even Gale. My feet took me to his home in the Seam, where we'd spent countless nights sitting around their small table, playing with Posy, or just talking. There was nothing left. I thought I'd lost him and I was alone in all of this.

That was the only time I'd felt like I did at that moment in time, trying to find some sort of way to close my eyes and go to sleep. The worry was boiling my insides, every time I closed my eyes I saw him in that bed, in pain. It was the worst sight I'd seen. It broke my heart to see hims so vulnerable.

Somehow, I manage to get two or three hours of sleep. The morning routine is nothing like it was before. There was no waking of my husband, no steam filled bathroom and I don't even bother toasting my bread, I simply eat it straight out of the package. And I only do that because I know I have to for the baby, I couldn't afford to skip a meal. If I wasn't pregnant I'm sure I wouldn't be able to eat.

Work drags on for hours. Even though I only teach for four hours a day I feel like it's a lifetime because I don't know if there has been any change in Gale's state. Jenkins said he'd update me if something major happened, but I know that means that if something changes for the worse.

Finally, my students are packing their things up, and I'm pretty sure I'm packing things up faster than they are. I even erase the board. Sure, it's done messily, but it's good enough that I can spare a few minutes tomorrow morning. This means that I can stay with Gale for longer without worrying too much about being the "rude teacher" that I strive not to be.

I walk faster than I thought I could without running. The entire walk I'm wishing that I could have found someone to cover for me today so that I could have spent the entire day next to Gale. Or I wish that I could have cancelled classes. But I know that would be frowned upon just because of a little bump on the head. I know it's not that, but that's what the parents and board might say, and, well, gotta please them if I want the income.

When I'm sitting in the spot I was in the night before and the doctor comes in to check some monitors or something, Gale stirs in his sleep. My eyes are wide when I see him. And, when his eyes open the first thing he sees is the doctor, who beats me to the first words he hears after he wakes.

"Ah, good you're awake, Mr. Hawthorne. You had people very worried. Although, I assured them all that it was a simple bump on the head and you'd be back to your normal self in no time."

I snort. He said nothing of the sort, he didn't say _anything _to me, no matter how much I pestered and said that it was my right to know.

And then Gale turns to me, and the look in his eyes when he sees me is one that could never be forgotten, even I would try. He looks _confused_. And the words he says after that cause the same look upon my features.

"Undersee? What are _you _doing here."

It isn't the way he says "you" that bothers me, even though he said it with a tone that I wish I never heard from him again, but it's the fact that he addresses me by my maiden name. It's been three years since I've gone by Undersee. Three years since he's called me that, and the name feels so foreign to my ears.

"What do you mean what am I doing here?" I question, wondering if he could be bitter towards the fact that I wasn't there earlier. But then I push that thought aside because he was unconscious and wouldn't have known either way.

"I mean exactly that, what are you doing here." He says flatly. "And are you... pregnant?"

My jaw drops and my heart almost stops. He just asked if I was pregnant. Before the accident he knew that, he was beyond excited and he even had names picked out even though we didn't know if it was going to be a girl or boy. (He wanted it to be Rose; after Prim, but not sharing her name, and if it was to be a boy he wanted the name Ivin. I don't know the significance of that one, or if it even has any) So why would he question that if for any other reason besides he doesn't remember that little fact. And he questioned why I was there. There could only be one explanation.

My husband doesn't remember he's my husband.


	3. Chapter 3

I inhale deeply and that's followed quickly by an exhale. I close my eyes, my lips are pursed tightly and the only sound that can be heard for a split second is the doctor flipping vigorously through his papers.

"Okay, Gale, I get its kind of a thing here for people to play pranks on their significant other but Sweetheart, this isn't funny. You have three seconds to take back this cruel joke." I speak my words with complete seriousnes, and I manage to hold myself together, until the last three words when my voice begins to break. The look on his face, the bland confusion, is what causes my unshed tears to finally fall.

"Oh, God." I say, my hand finding itself slapping against my mouth in complete shock.

More doctors walk in and pester Gale with questions, and he returns the favor with the ones he doesn't know. things like where was he, how did he get tjere, who was feeding his family, why I was there. no one answers the last one. they continue his questioning and its decided (by me, nothing is official until the psych evaluation, apparently) that the only things he remember are the events that took place just before the reaping for the 74th Hunger Games. The last true reaping. He remember nothing of our relationship at all. As far as he knows, we have only ever exchanged a few words here and there when he would bring strawberries to the back door with Katniss.

He doesn't even know me, he knows nothing about me. He thinks that I'm the spoiled little girl who doesn't know what it's like to struggle or to feel much pain because I've been handed everything so easily. That's what the old Gale thought, not what my Gale thinks. But now, they're the same person.

It isn't until I make the slightest movement in my seat that causes it to to move slightly. It makes a soft noise, but its enough to make it so that its once again noticed that I am still in the room. Al eyes are on me. My tear stained face with threats of sobs to over take my entire body. The doctors don't say anything, they don't have to. Legally speaking since this isn't an official evaluation I'm allowed to be in the room. But they don't want me there.

"I'm just..." I say, reaching over the chair to grab the light jacket I had brought with me as I stand, "I'm just gonna go get some rest. I'll come back... later" but i don't know when later is. Will Gale want to see me? Will seeing me make things worse for him? My brain is swarming with questions, but as i walk back to our small home., i try to push them back. I tell myself not to worry until there is an official diagnosis. Maybe this was something that was a quick thing. You know maybe it'll be better in a few hours.

Later turned out to be about three hours later. I had hoped that the positive thoughts that filled my brain, the ones that held me from breaking down on my walk back home, would be confirmed. But as I returned just before dinner that night those speculation and hopes were denied any truth. They think there's a concussion that is causing the . It looks to be something semi-permanent. He'll remember some things and others will continue to be a distant memory. There's no telling when the memories he'll retain will be return, and there's nothing certain saying that they will. It's _likely. _Likely isn't good enough for me to stop the tears, the worry. I want definitely. And I know that's selfish of me.

I want to see Gale again. I want to just run into his room and engulf him in a large hug, smothering kisses all over his face because I've missed out on them for the past two days. I _want _them. I want his hands to rub my belly again and I want to lay in bed and talk about things for our baby again.

Our baby. My thoughts begin to wonder what role he's going to play now. He's still the father, and he'll see reason with that. Even before we were together Gale stepped up to the plate with his siblings, even if he, and I hate to think like this but it's still looming in my mind, he never loves me again, he'll help me with this baby. He's a good guy, Gale. Always has been.

I work up the courage to walk into his room. Knocking on the door as I open it, I stick my head in first. He looks bored and slightly irritated.

"Hi." I speak tentatively, stepping inside and closing the door behind me. "You up for some conversation?"

He doesn't say anything.

"I could catch you up on what's happened the past six or seven years." I suggest in a completely friendly tone.

"Like anything interesting has happened?" He says, but it's more of a question.

"Yes. Actually." Taking a seat on the same chair I was in before, I smile somewhat mischievously.

"Like?" He looks intrigued. Which is good. I'm the only familiar face he's seen, maybe that's a good thing. But he doesn't look friendly. Almost as if he doesn't trust what I'm going to say.

"I'll start with the games. Prim was reaped, Katniss volunteered. She and Peeta won." I said simply, leaving out most of the details. And the look on his face is priceless but then it turns into a scowl.

"God, Undersee. I could maybe believe the whole Katniss thing, but two winners? The Capitol would never allow that."

I sigh loudly. Pulling a book out of my bag. It's the thin history book that me and a few other teachers put together about the rebellion. I toss it by his feet.

"Read for yourself." I had a feeling he wouldn't trust me. But I thought I would try to see if maybe there was a chance that he has some sort of feeling that he should. I mean, emotions and feelings, those are powerful things. I was once told by my mother that they don't just go away. Unfortunately, that's not true in this case. We are back where we were all those years ago in Twelve. He detests me and everything he thought I was and stood for.

He did. But he fell in love with me once, he could do it again, right?

* * *

**This story is kind of loosely based off the final arc of my favorite spy-related show. I won't say the name because it's basically a _giant _spoiler for the end of the series. But if you can figure out which show it is, then good for you. There's actually a quote from the show in here, (it's the last episode). "Emotions and feelings, those are powerful things" is the quote. Maybe if you guys can guess it and put it in a review I'll give you a sneak peek at the next chapter?**

**Also; I'd just like to thank everyone for their feedback up to this point. Not only do I love reviews, but I love seeing everyone following and favoriting this story. I have only ever finished one fanfiction, and that rounded in at 52, 347 words during NaNoWriMo '13. I normally lose all motivations to continue writing a story if no one will be interested in it and so seeing all of that motivates me. So, thank you. **

**I'll be posting stuff on my twitter about this story occasionally as I continue to write. I also post lots of stuff about my real life and that can help you guys to know if I'm going to update that day based on what I post. My handle is darthkota, so if you follow me I follow back!**


	4. Chapter 4

He's coming home today.

The psychologists said that it's probably best that we expose him to things a little at a time. Since it's clear that I'm pregnant and he knows that it's his child, that's what we're starting will. Gale has always been a responsible guy, so even if we didn't want to start with that he wouldn't give up on it. We'll start to ease him into the fact that we're married a little later. I mean, he _knows _but we're not going to flaunt the fact. As much as it hurts me.

Someday he'll accept it. I'm determined to make sure that it's going to happen. But until then, I've turned down the wedding photos of us. Most of them, anyway. The one next to our bed on my side isn't moving. I refuse.

I've sat with him every day since the accident. It's been almost a week now. He's warmed up to me, which is good. I don't think he's looked over the history that he was given. He hasn't said anything about it if he has. And the fact that his best friend won the Hunger Games and fueled a rebellion all while trying to decide if she was in love with a baker or a hunter seems to be something the old Gale would at least comment on if he had known it was going to happen. He hated this country, so the fact that it wasn't like it was before? No, I don't think he knows anything.

I walked to the hospital in a crisp wind. I took the day off of work despite all the factors saying I shouldn't. I don't care if he didn't love me, he needed me to be there for him. I don't think he wants to live with me right now, I don't think he trusts me enough yet. But that's understandable, it took a while for him to warm up to me before. But we don't really have a choice, he knows how tight money can get, and we just can't afford to put him somewhere else. I'm already trying to calculate how we're going to pay for his medication, what we're going to give up each month for it.

I meet Jenkins and his girlfriend, Ava, in the lobby and the three of us head up to where Gale has been for the past four days. Jenkins hasn't been up here yet. At least when Gale was awake. After we came to Two, he and Gale bonded really quickly, he was almost like his new best friend, so when he heard that Gale had absolutely no memory of what's happened here he didn't want to make things worse as he would have been an entirely new face. But I needed his and Ava's help getting Gale settled in the house.

"Hey, Woody!" Jenkins says cheerfully. He knew all about Gale and going into the woods, and the nickname just sort of happened one day. It never faded. "You get to get out of here now."

Gale's confused. His face shows that clear as day. He also looks slightly irritated, which I understand. He can't remember anything.

Nothing else is said as we head back to our house. I wish it were a comfortable silence, but the weight of it is heavy. I feel that if I say anything it could ruin everything that I'm working towards.

So, I don't say anything. Not for a while.

When Gale asked where the bed and bathroom were, I simply guided him into our room. And then pointed out the entrance to the bathroom from our closet.

It isn't until I finish cooking diner (a simple pasta with garlic. I'm far from being an amazing chef, so I stick to easy things) when I finally say something to him.

I knock on the closed door to our room as I open it, and there he's sitting. And he's holding the picture of us from our wedding. The only one I didn't move. He's so... mesmerized by it.

"Dinner's on the table if you're wanting to eat. Which I'd advise you should. It's not much better than hospital food, but it's something." I speak my words casually, not moving from next to the door.

He doesn't look up from the picture.

"This was in the meadow back in Twelve." It's not a question, but you can hear the slight confusion in his tone, which is something that I don't understand. "We live here. If we got married in Twelve, when did we move here?"

A smile comes on my face as I listen to his words. I don't understand it, but he's accepted that we're married. He was asking about it. I walk over to the bed, sitting next to him, I tilt the picture a little bit to remove the glare from the window.

"We came here right after the war. Didn't even stop in Twelve. You said goodbye to your family and then we left." I look up from the photograph to see a slightly confused look still on his face. "When we got married I thought you'd want your friends, your family, there with you. So I suggested we'd go back to Twelve to do it. Most of them were there, anyway."

"Oh."

_Oh. _That's all he says. I don't know what I was expecting him to say, but it surely wasn't that. Maybe I wanted him to thank me or something now, even though he'd done that when I made the suggestion. And that thanking was followed by several kisses. Man, how I miss that. It seems like a lifetime since I got to taste his lips, I'd gotten so used to them that I forgot that they could be ripped away so easily.

"So..." His word pulled me out of my thoughts, and I find myself anticipating what he was going to say. "Your Mom... was she there? I know she was sick and bedridden, but did they find a way to get here there?"

My heart drops, and I stand up, looking away from him. My hands brush through my hair and there's a pregnant pause. Silence filled the room quickly, and my gaze meets with the floor.

"No." I say, simply. I haven't thought about my Mom in a while. I wish she was there. I wish she were here now with me, telling me stories about how our pregnancies were similar and how very different they were. I wish she'd be here to tell me how much I'll love being a mother.

It isn't until that moment until I realize how utterly alone I am now. Before I felt fine. I had Gale, I didn't need my family, not really. Daddy didn't approve of my relationship with Gale, anyway. He probably wouldn't be around even if he did survive the bombs. It would have been nice if Mamma was here, but growing up I knew, somewhere inside of me, that she'd never be able to see my children.

Now I don't even have Gale. My rock. The one person who'd kept me sane since I lost everything. And then, I let the tears fall. They're silent tears, streaming down my cheeks, and I hope more than anything that I'll be able to hide the tears from Gale, because I have to be strong for him. I take a deep breath, turning towards the door. And, without looking back at him, I find myself speaking as strongly as I can. "I'm gonna go eat."

* * *

**I've been so busy with school I didn't get a chance to edit this, oops. **

**But I'll be gone for a week at the end of the month, so I won't be able to update then, (two more weeks until I get out of this 20 degree weather into the nice warmth of Anaheim, I'm stoked.) and I felt the need to post as much as I can now. **

**I'm really loving this story so far. We're almost to the halfway point, and then it's all uphill from there. Bear with me. **

**Thank you all for all of your support and praise, as well as advice. It's really helped me with the direction and such that I'm taking this story. I'd love more feedback, no matter what you think of it.**


	5. Chapter 5

I wake the next morning on the couch, the book I had gotten lost in fallen off and now laying face down on the floor. The pages are surely bent. I groan, my hand rubbing the side of my temple as I sit up, tossing my legs over the end of the couch.

I don't remember falling asleep, I don't even remember being tired. I glance at the clock, and all feelings of grogginess from before are quickly thrown away, as if realizing I have fifteen minutes to get to work cause some sort splash of water over me and I wake quicker than ever.

Somehow, I've managed to make it through the past two days. Gale and I share little interaction, I think he's still adjusting to being away from Twelve and his family.

As I throw open the door to the bedroom, not even bothering to knock, I glance at the bed and see him still lost in a blissful sleep. Last night he was up late talking to some of the guys from work. I don't really know about what, but I know when the conversation was finished he looked more confused then ever.

I hate this.

I hate this awkward feeling, this feeling that we're pushed apart. It is worse then any feeling I've ever had. I can hardly stand it, but I know I have no choice.

I throw on a simple pair of black slacks and a loose fitting blouse. I brush quickly through my hair and forget about makeup all together. I don't have time.

I honestly don't really know why I'm going to work today. I haven't for the last two days, I've been sitting at home reading. I only touched the piano that Gale got me last year for our anniversary once. (I didn't ask how he got it or how he afforded it. He would have killed me), and when I tried to play it didn't work very well.

I'm out of the door with a piece of bread in my hand. I don't wake Gale.

* * *

As the students are filing out of class at the end of the day, I sit in the chair behind my desk grading the days quiz. I barely hear the soft voice of Brintlee.

"Mrs. Hawthorne?"

"Hmmm." I hum, not bothering to look up from the quiz. All the answers are wrong.

Every. Single. One.

And it's slightly aggravating, because I don't understand how someone could get all the questions wrong, even if they were guessing.

"I'm glad your back." Those short words cause me to look up with a sad smile. "My Dad told me what happened... Uncle works with your husband. Is he okay?"

I stand up from my chair and walk over to the black board and begin erasing the days agenda. "He's fine." I say simply. "Thank you, Brintlee, for the concern."

She walks next to me, her tone excited as she digs in her bag. "I have something for you." You couldn't miss the smile on her face even if you'd tried. It was so genuine, her face was almost brighter than the florescent lights that lit the hallways of the school building.

"Oh?" I question, turning to face her with a smile on my face. Unlike the ones I've sported the past three days, this one is genuine. This little girl, this student of mine, could light up a room of the countries saddest people without even trying. And then, she hands me a small crocheted blanket.

It's soft. The white yarn is as soft as the worlds fluffiest cat and every stitch is perfect, not a single missed one.

"I helped my sister make it. For your baby. She thinks it will help make things better. I hope it does" She explains, and I'm sure she's trying to search my face for a reaction. I didn't know what to do; what to say. I was so overwhelmed by the gesture. I am eternally grateful for the gesture.

Finally, after what seems like a life time, I stumble out a few words. "It's amazing, Brintlee. Really. Thank you."

After a moment, we part our ways. The girl having to meet her sister out front.

* * *

I prepare dinner for more then just Gale and myself that night. I make sure that I've washed the silverware at least ten times, trying to get it to shine as best as I can.

Gale may not care, but I do.

They may say that they don't care if we have the nicest flatware in the country or if we eat with wood sticks. But once again, I do.

Even if Gale doesn't remember anything about our relationship, he doesn't love me, I still have to impress them.

And when I open the door to greet Hazelle, Vick and Posy, I don't even bother trying to force a smile. Because they aren't here for a social visit. They're here because he's hurt; because I didn't know who else to call for help.

Rory would have come too, I'm sure, but he's just getting used to life on his own, without the rest of his family. He's got his job and his girlfriend and I couldn't disrupt that by asking him to come out here.

Posy engulfs me in a hug the second she sees me. She rarely gets to see me. The last time I saw her was at our wedding, and she's grown so much since then. At Eleven years old she's almost as tall as me. Much like Brintlee, she can manage to light up a room just by saying what was on her mind. She never grew out of her childhood innocence. Every time we talk over the phone, though limited as that is, I feel like I'm talking to the little four year old girl I met when Gale and I first became friends.

"Where's Gale?" Vick asks as I usher the family into the dining room.

"Probably sitting in the bedroom. That's how he spent most of yesterday." Come to think of it, I haven't seen him since I greeted him after I got home from work a few hours ago. "I'll go grab him."

I knock on the door, and after a second of silence, I push it open. "Gale?"

He doesn't answer. And looking around, I don't see him in there at all. It's completely silent.

I walk out of my room and into the room next door, the one that's going to be our baby's room.

There isn't much in there right now, a few boxes of clothes that we've gotten from friends, a crib that has yet to be assembled, and a rocking that sits under the window with the white blanket Brintlee gave me draped over the side. (When I'd gotten home from work I decided that would be the best place to put it.)

Much to my surprise he's sitting on the floor, his back leaning against the wall. On his left is the chair and his right a stack of bins. I wonder how long he's been sitting there, and how I hadn't realized he'd gone in there.

"Hey, dinners ready." His eyes lock with mine and I can't get a reading on him. "You should come eat, you've got company who's dying to see you."

He doesn't respond right away, he simply keeps his grey eyes on me.

It feels like an eternity that we're standing like that. Surely his family is getting antsy outside.

He stands and walks towards me, shaking his head. "You're going to have a baby. And you have clothes and two places for it to sleep." He says his words with a slightly distasteful tone, and it takes me back slightly. "You need more than that."

And with that, he walks out of the room.

* * *

**I don't know what I'm writing 97% of the time. **

**I'm planning on posting the next chapter before I leave for vacation, but this is the last week of the term and it's kinda stressful. And then I have to pack and ugh. **

**Speaking of the next chapter, it makes the halfway point for this story (at least as things stand right now), remember when I say things go uphill from there? *wink wink nudge nudge***


	6. Chapter 6

I saw Gale smile for the first time since he came home.

His sister was telling a story of some guy named Carlton at her school. And her joking tone caused a smile on his face. He was happy.

I want to ask him later that night, after they've gone for the night, about it. But I don't have to, not really. They're happy. They aren't struggling and there isn't anything else in the world that Gale wanted then to give his family the best life possible. That's why there was that smile on his face, such a genuine and loving smile that was only reserved for his family.

It's kind of why he had some sort of vendetta against me for a while. Because if I went around them they'd start wanting things he couldn't give them. He could barely give them food some nights, and there I was with my fancy capitol dresses and more food then I knew what to do with.

It took me a while to understand why he was like that, why he hated me for things that I couldn't control, it took me a while to realize that it wasn't _me_ he hated, it's who I was. If that makes sense.

So, I tossed all of that aside. Whenever I went to visit Prim I'd wear my gardening overalls and I'd tie my hair back in a bun. And, I don't know why the material things mattered, but after a while he started to really see who I was.

And now that he doesn't remember me, it's like I'm having to start all over. I have to find a way to make him see who I am again. To make him understand that I'm more than what he saw on the outside. And it's going to be a lot harder this time.

I'm sitting cross legged on the couch, a pile of quizzes I'm grading on my lap, when I ask Gale if he was going to bed. And when he responds with a simple mumbled answer, one I could barely decipher, I shake my head at him.

"Wrong answer. We need to talk."

And with that, I lead him into the nursery.

"Okay." I say, resting my arm on the stack of boxes. "These clothes were given to us by your friends. That chair was your mothers. The only things in here that was given to us by someone who wasn't your friend of family was the blanket Brin gave me and the crib that we bought together."

He looks slightly confused and I'm not standing a few feet away from him, my gaze not breaking from his.

"Why would your friends and family give me things for my baby?" I question, but I don't wait for an answer. I can't, if I hear the words he says it might cause me unnecessary pain. And I don't need anymore stress right now. It's not healthy. "Because it's _your_ baby, too. I know it's hard for you to realize that, you don't know what's going on. The last memory you have of me is probably you selling me strawberries, you could barely stand me, so how in all of Panem could I be having your baby? That's what you're thinking right?"

I don't need him to say anything to know that I'm right. I still understand him, even though he doesn't understand me.

"I don't care how you feel about me right now, Gale. I mean, of course I want you to love me again, but I can't force that on you. But I do know that even before you got to know the real me you were a good guy. You'll always be a good guy. You can't just sit around all day, wondering what's going on, who you are now, and what you're doing with your life. I know it's eating at your insides, you feel so helpless. But, sweetheart, you've got to be that guy that I know you are. I don't know what you're going through, I don't know what it's like to lose memory of everything good that's happened to you in the last few years, but I want to help you. If not as your wife then as your friend. Can we at least try that for now?"

There'a look in his eyes. One that took me a minute to recognize, because it was so foreign for so long. Its the one he wore when he'd go to the hob, go out in the woods. It was the one he wore when he'd go without something for one night so his little sister, his growing sister who needed more then him, could have a nice heaping bowl of soup.

He's coming around. He's realizing that I'm not lying, and it brings those butterflies back to my stomach, the ones that I had long ago in 12 when I first started talking to him, when I'd first give him a piece of my mind.

But I still don't give him time to respond to what I'm saying.

"I called your family to come out here because I know they can help you, too. Because, believe it or not, we've got secrets from each other. Secrets of our past that we find ugly, that we don't want the other to know about. They know more about you then I do. So you're going to try, if not for me or for our baby, then for them. For your brothers and sister, for your mother. For Katniss, because she called the other day and wants to help you, even though she can't come out here. For all the people who care about you."

I see something in him, something that was so rare that I don't know how to even describe it. He looks defeat, almost, but not hurt or wounded or anything that a person who's just been defeated would look like.

And he nods. Then, the sweet sound of his voice fills the room. And my heart melts at the words he said.

"Everything just so different. My sister is eleven, my brother almost eighteen. Hell, Rory's out on his own with a girlfriend now, when last time I saw him he was crazy in love with Prim, even though he wouldn't admit it. And then there's where I live. I'm not in Twelve anymore. I'm not a coal miner like I thought I would be my entire life, then you're going to have a baby, _my _baby and I just don't understand how any of this happened."

He doesn't understand? It clicks in me, in that moment, that he didn't read that history section I gave him when he was in the hospital. But, that didn't make any sense. Gale wanted to know, he would have been overjoyed that things were so different now.

No more suffering, no more starving children, no more games. Things were as normal and as wonderful as they could be.

And so, when I ask Gale if he didn't read it and he confirms my suspicions, saying he was too tired, he'd look at the page and it was exhausting to try to read. He'd only try when he was alone, and that was always after a mass amount of nurses and doctors came in to examine him. Which, I suppose makes sense.

I walk into our bedroom, sit on the bed, and tell Gale I'm going to tell him everything. He's apprehensive, but eventually agrees to listen to my stories.

I tell him about the reaping, about how Prim was called and how Katniss volunteered.

I tell him how I gave her my Mockingjay pin.

I tell him about Peeta's interview, and then I tell him about their strategy in the game.

I tell him about them coming home, about the uprisings it caused.

I tell him about the Quell, and how we helped the Victors train. How he helped with snares and I gave them newspapers.

I tell him about the bombing of Twelve.

I tell him about Thirteen.

I tell him about him training and working with Beete.

I tell him about everyone that we cared about, about everyone that died. Including Prim.

I tell him about Katniss shooting Coin instead of Snow.

I tell him basically everything.

What I don't tell him is anything about our relationship, how we got together. I don't tell him about the bombs he made and how he thought he killed Prim.

I tell him what he needs to know, what I know won't hurt him. And the entire time he doesn't interrupt. He's fascinated.

And, when I'm done, he looks like he believes me.

It's then when I realize that he trusts me. He doesn't have any reason to, from what he remembers I'm just the spoiled little Mayor's daughter. District Twelves perfect little Capitol groomed angel.

But he trusts me.

That how our relationship started. He told me he trusted me, he trusted me to walk Prim home from school and he trusted me to be a friend to her.

I've never seen a clearer step in the right direction.

* * *

**Fun fact of the day, this isn't the original chapter I had planned for chapter six. That one will be posted next, but I felt like if I jumped from the last chapter I had posted into that one it wouldn't make much sense and it would look as if the story was being rushed, and this one just kind of came to me last night. It kind of feels like it's a little messy, but keep in mind this is a story that _Madge _is writing, and she has no formal writing training. I'm not sure what I think of this approach for this particular story, but it's how I wrote my NaNoWriMo story and I got lots of positive feedback on that. **

**Also, a few notes for you guys on where this story is going.**

**Halfway through the next chapter we'll be exactly halfway through this story. I plan to post that one next week as planned. **

**After the next chapter, there won't be an update until the first week of February, if everything goes according to plan. **

**I've posted before that I'll be gone the last week of the month, but I've got a 12 hour car ride that I will be writing in. I don't know if my hotel will have WiFi so that's why I'm not promising any updated during that time. **

**To make up for that, I plan to finish this story during February, so hopefully updates will become more frequent. **

**You guys are awesome, thanks for being there for me. I want to reply to all your reviews, and hopefully I'll be able to as soon as finals are over. So make sure to check your inbox this weekend. **

**DFTBA, and I'll see you next week.**


	7. Chapter 7

I'm about to leave the room, let Gale get some rest and to gather his thoughts when he speaks again.

"Madge..." His voice seems nervous, pleading almost. And for a second I thought maybe my telling him of everything that's happened over the past six years, at least the things that affected how our country was run, would have sparked some sort of memory in him that had to do with our relationship.

Of course, I was wrong. The majority of the time anything that I'd hoped for was wrong. But what he did say wasn't as horrible as it could have been. In fact, I find it's another step - no, leap, in the right direction.

"Tell me our story."

I roll my lips together, nodding once as I try to hide the smile forming across my lips.

"Yeah, uh.. where to begin." I hesitantly say, pushing a fallen lock of my blonde hair behind my ear. "Well, it started with the mayors daughter. And then one day, her only friend was whisked away on a capitol train." I don't know why I say those words, he knows them. But he asked for our story, and our story can't be told by taking shortcuts. He needs the whole thing. "And then the next day, her life changed when she met the hunter named Gale in the meadow. And slowly, she fell in love."

* * *

_The wind whisps her hair around her face as she trudges through the field grass, the thin blades scratching across her smooth skin. She curses herself, wondering what made her think wearing one of her dresses into the hidden meadow of Twelve would have been a good idea. Her arms are crossed against her chest as she trudges along, and as she walks she also questions what in her mind made her think it was a good idea to hunt him down in general. She knows that he was far closer to Katniss then she would ever be, even though it was horrible that she lost her only friends to the terrors of the capitol, she'd never know the pain that he was feeling. _

_He's a hunter so she's sure her footsteps is what causes him to turn. _

_"Hi." She speaks quietly, it wasn't spoken in a whisper, but the winds around her make it so that the simple word is barely audible. "I wanted to see if you were okay." _

_She doesn't expect much from him, the two have barely spoken and if they did it was a snide comment here or there; or something regarding the selling of strawberries. _

_"Fine. I've got families to feed." And with that statement, he walks off in the same direction the blonde had came from. She rolls her eyes, turning in the same direction, and heading back to her own home._

_-x-x-x-_

_"Hey, Prim!" She calls out, almost running to catch up to the younger girl. "I was wondering if you'd want to come over a little after school. I could help you with your homework, or I could show you my piano." _

_The little girl is hesitant to accept the offer, and she can't be blamed. It's as if everything in her life had just been turned upside down, everything had been thrown at such a young and innocent girl at one time. _

_"It'll be fun. I can even walk you home afterwards." The words are spoken with a reassuring tone, a friendly smile wearing on her face. She shrugs. "I figured with Katniss away you'd want someone to keep you company."_

_There's a moment of almost uncomfortable silence between the two, and Madge was almost sure that the youngest Everdeen was going to decline the offer, but when she nods nervously, Madge feels a wave of relief crash upon her nerves. _

_"So, I'll meet you out front after school, then?" _

_"Yeah. I might have to talk to my teacher for a minute about one of my assignments, but that shouldn't take to long." There's almost a hint of excitment in her words, which causes the smile on the elder girls face to grow slightly, a comforting feeling to rush through her veins. _

_"Good. Now get to class, before I feel bad about making you late." Chuckling softly as she spoke the words, Madge pats the girls shoulder before stepping off in the direction of her own class. _

_But as she hears her named called she stops in her tracks. It wasn't the vibrant tone of young Prim, but that of a stern male. It was that of Gale Hawthorne's. _

_"What the hell are you doing?" He all but growls at her. _

_There's a slightly irritated sigh as the blonde shifts her weight from her left foot to her right, holding her books against her chest. "I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about." _

_"You playing nice with Prim. What's that all about." _

_She chuckles, almost as if what he was saying were some sort of comedic attempt. _

_"Gale, I know this is hard for you to believe, but I do actually care about people about myself. Katniss isn't just your friend, but mine as well. So I don't see the issue with me offering to help entertain her sister while she isn't here, or even after that for that matter." _

_There's no reaction to her words, his face is flat and his tone just the same. "You didn't care about it before." _

_"I didn't think much about it before." Her demanour changed with those few words, a flash of guilt in her eyes. It was true, that she hadn't thought much about the young blonde before she watched her sister volunteer to fight for her death in place of her. "But that shouldn't matter because I'm doing it now. I hope that you trust that I do care." _

_And something that comes as a large surprise happens with those words, he simply shakes his head, mumbles something she couldn't make out, and walks off in the direction of his own lesson._

___-x-x-x-_

_Prim invited her inside for a moment, and Madge felt it rude to decline the invitation. So, she stood in the small Everdeen home. The colors were dark, the only light in the room coming from a small lamp on the table and the window across the room. She felt out of place, yet as if this were right. The only reason she felt out of place was because of her yellow dress with matching flat shoes. She looked perfectly groomed, not a flaw on her body, whereas those in this home looked completely natural. _

_Gale came in moments later as she awkwardly stands in the center of the room, waiting for her younger friend. The look he gave her didn't go unnoticed. _

_So the next time she walked with Prim home, she wore a pair of old jeans and a simple shirt. And every time she thought she might see him after that, save for school where she was told by her father that she, unfortunately, had appearances to keep up. _

___-x-x-x-_

_It was a few days later that the two had their next encounter, Madge was talking with Prim about one of her history assignments and the conversation was far more uncomfortable than either would admit. They were standing in the square, near the front of the viewing screen, and trying their best to act as if they weren't completely and utterly nervous about the event tonight. Scores were a big thing. If Katniss didn't pull a well enough score, she wouldn't get sponsers. And even worse, she'd be maimed by the careers. _

_The Hawthorne family joins them right as the viewing starts, and when her eleven flashes on the screen, the entire district goes wild. _

_Their eyes lock, excitment in their eyes, and in that moment both of them realized how much they were going to need each other, because as much as their families cared about Katniss, no one understood how hard it was to watch a friend go through that. _

_So, after the viewing, the two of them decided that anything that had happened between them was to be forgotten. They weren't going to dwell on past things said._

* * *

** I was rewatcing the last episode of Chuck and then this heartbreaking dialogue happened:**

_**"Chuck... Tell me our story."**_

**_"Uh, where to being. Well, it started with a guy who worked at Buy More. And then one day an old college friend of his sent him an email that was filled with secrets. And then the next day, his life really changed when he met a spy named Sarah. And he fell in love. *cue Rivers and Roads music*_" and I just like pulled open my document and edited what I originally had written for the few words Gadge exchanged before Madge tells him the story of how they fell in love. **

**The story will be continued over the next two chapters (obviously this isn't their entire relationship, it's the key points Madge mentions as she's telling the story), and then we'll be close to the end and wow I can't believe I've stayed dedicated to this story this much. I normally lose focus or interest [kota applauds self].**

**hey yo if you have a tumblr you should leave your name in a review so I can follow you?(:**


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